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vezanmatics
Freelance animator, occasional music-maker, idealistic sci-fi-enjoyer.

Evan Animates @vezanmatics

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Killy Philly

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I'd like to hear some horror stories about your roommates.

Posted by vezanmatics - October 18th, 2011


But let me tell you about my former roommates first.

I recently switched dorms because I couldn't live with these people. When I came to the Art Institute of Philadelphia, I was expecting to meet people who are like me.

These three assholes were every stereotype of a douchebag there is. Jersey Shore douchebag. Ghetto douchebag. Meathead douchebag. Every one of them represented a kind of person I tried to avoid in high school. The apartment was absolutely disgusting and in complete disrepair.

Mikey, the Jersey Shore douchebag, was actually the most tolerable of the three. He was actually pretty nice, but incredibly full of himself. He thankfully spent very little time at the room, probably out with his fellow ego-maniacal friends. Still, though, he's the spitting image of Paulie-B. Orange skin, spiked hair and all.

Tom was the most ghetto, wiggerest scum I have had the displeasure of meeting. I could never sleep at night because he would be up until early in the morning taking drugs with his deadbeat friends and blasting horrible music at full volume. He spent 2 years in jail because of unlicensed gun possession, and as soon as he got out he got the gun he got arrested for carrying tattooed on his chest. Yeah. That ghetto.

Anton, the Meathead douchebag, was by far the worst. During the first month he wouldn't clean up after himself in the one bathroom the four of us shared. There would be shit and cum in the toilet and ashes of weed in the shower. He was my ROOM roommate, as in we slept in the same room on separate bunk beds. Actually, I only really lived with him for the first month and a half, because he broke his bed while he was trying to nail some short ugly chick. At 2:30 in the morning. While I was less than 10 feet away from him.

This weekend I was spending time with my girlfriend, and while we were watching a movie I got a text from Anton saying he was going to beat my ass when I got back because I accidentally forgot to leave his laptop back at the dorm room. That is a severe overreaction right there. Btw, he didn't beat my ass because he was passed out when I got back and had no memory of the occurrence.

I would have posted their numbers here so you guys could fuck with them if you wanted, but i unfriended them on facebook and deleted them as contacts before the idea occurred to me. Damn.

Anyway, that is the story of my horrible roommates. I'd like to hear some of your stories, people of the interwebs.

This is Anton and Tom btw. Just look at how dumb they are.

I'd like to hear some horror stories about your roommates.


Comments

wow man, that blows - i'm suprised to see those kinda dudes in art school

i know, i wasn't expecting to meet these kind of people in art school either.

I lend a deadbeat roommate $500.00 so he could get to work...
Then this happened: <a href="http://celx-requin.newgrounds.com/news/post/548405">http://celx-requin.newgrounds.com/new s/post/548405</a>

damn, dude. That really sucks.

Woah..what a couple of douchbags.
Surprising there in Art school though....a place where poets and ppl with gentle dreams live.
Lol he was nailing a chick while u were there!!! HAHAHA XD
Man...u shud like...stab them with a spoon!

i really did feel like doing just that.

Ha, that does sound sucky. Good story to tell though, and sometimes it's good to have those kinda experiences in the long run.

Oh, wow. Well mines not sooo bad but it was still anoying. My b/f & his friend were living together for a few months in a medium appartment. He decided that he wanted us to live together & his friend said it would be more then fine if i came & lived with them. Of corse i always did All the cleaning witch was anoying but i was only working part time on the weekends @ that time. They both worked evening shift exept his friend seemd to get off work earlier then he did. So him & i would be hanging out in the living room untill my b/f came home. Dont get me wrong this kid was an ok guy, just had problems. So weeks later i start to notice he is Always wanting to hang out with me, drink with me ect, when my b/f isnt arround. Didnt wanna tell my b/f cuz i Know he would of freaked out so i tried to keep it cool & friendly. Untill one day it got wierd, he acted like he had droped something behind my chair, when i knew he hadnt, next thing i knew cuz im not fucking stupid he was looking down my shirt (well tryin to @ least) From that day forward i stoped "hanging" out in the living room with him & stayed in mine & my b/f's. He would still come to my room & ask if i wanted to smoke or drink but i would say no. Not to mention He himself was bringing crack headed guys over @ all hours of the night playing video games) Then a month later his Crack Headed mom shows up. He says" Hey guys is it alright if my mom stays here a few days untill she gets on her feet" My b/f & i arnt assholes so we said alright "Only if its for a few days" Well, after a week i had to tell him "look i dont want your mother sleeping on My couch in the living room" He asked me why (fucking dumbass) & i just told him straight, Look when my b/f & i do you know what its akward having her here! A couple days later she Moved into his room & was sleeping right beside him on the floor. It was the fucking weirdest thing i had ever seen, i knew right then we were in for it. Sure enough a couple days later she tried to have "guys" over in his room! I told my b/f That was It & i was moving out if he wasnt, he finally agreed with me. But it pissed me off that I was the one who had to deal with it all, since my b/f doesnt like confrintation. Horrible horrible experience & i am glad that we now have our own trailer together now. :) Thanks for listening
~Kaila~

damn that sucks. I dont think any of my roommates ever went so far as crack, and they certainly didnt hit on me. XD

My Roommates have been pretty great so far. I prefer last years over this years but it's nothing too annoying. I would have gotten the fuck out had I had those dipshits as my roommates.

and dipshits they are.

I've been a couple of people's roommate ... I'm sure they got stories.

lol

i went to a college in wv for a while that wealthy japanese people sent their children to have an "american education experience". one of my roommates was a big guy, played on the rugby team among other sports and he could just not hold his liquor. on more than one occasion i woke up in the middle of the night to find him blitzed out of his skull, pissing in our shared closet. it was funny the first time, but he did it maybe 10 or so times in the span of a few months. at least no one pissed in your closet.

i don't use my closet, i just stuff my clothing into drawers. i wouldn't have cared. however, when you try to have sex at 2:30 in the morning while im trying to sleep across the room, (and then break the bed) that is suddenly my problem.

You should reply to one of my posts now, please & thank you :)
~Kaila~